What a beautiful day!

Wow - today is gorgeous! It was 70 degrees at lunch time and just beautiful. I wish it could be like this ALL YEAR LONG! This morning we went to the Mostly Mommies book study at World Outreach Center and then to the park to meet some friends. We were a little (okay, a lot) late but that's okay. The kids had a blast. Here are some pictures.

Throwing sticks in the water - shortly after Drew fell into the water, thankfully only his shoes & bottom of his pants were wet and he wasn't hurt.


Morgan & Eli collecting sticks

Drew looking at ants.

Morgan and her friend, John. How sweet. I have to say, when I told Eric about these pictures he wasn't too pleased - his daughter already holding hands with a boy???!!!! I tried explaining it was just innocent, they don't understand anything other than being friends (thankfully!). He still didn't like it. Dad's and their little girls - I tell ya!

Do you like silver jewelry?

Some of you may know about the website www.silverjewelryclub.com and may already buy from them. If you do can you go through my friend's website? My friend in TX is starting up her own business so she can work from home and while it is based in Houston, you can still help her out. With each purchase you make she gets $ .50!! Please visit www.northhoustonmetrowoman.com. Scroll to the bottom and click on the link to the silver jewelry club and she gets credit for any sale.

THANKS!

Drew's follow-up appt. w/pediatrician

I took Drew into a follow-up appt. with Dr. Eastham today. It went fine but it left me feeling very frustrated with the people in the ER. When I told him the reasons I brought Drew into the ER in the first place, the VERY FIRST THING he thought of was PNEMONIA! He said those were all classic symptoms and that he was very suprised that they did a cat scan when the normal procedure for diagnosing pnemonia was a chest x-ray and blood work. When I mentioned that they were concerned about the appendix he went on to explain that he would not have even considered that because, well, I can't remember his reasoning. He asked if they tested him for the flu as well just in case. I mentioned that they did do blood work but I never heard anything from it. They faxed him the information from that night and it did not include any lab work!

I'm glad that my baby is okay and I know that the drs. in the ER are good but they aren't drs. that deal soley with kids. From talking to Dr. Eastham, I think that's the difference in what they chose to do medically. I don't know. Just irritates me that now my child is afraid of drs. He screamed when the nurse wanted to take his temp in his ear and made me promise him all the way to Dr. Eastham's office that it wouldn't hurt. Ughhh!

Despite the frustration, I'm glad my kiddo is on the mend. Fever free for 24 hours now, puke free for 48 hours. AND HE POOPED! (TMI - I know!)

I feel like a drama queen

Sometimes I think I make life with 3 sound really, really difficult. It's not that bad, believe me! It has it's moments (like puking all night & the er visit) but all-in-all it's great. Lots of good moments - more than the hard ones - and that makes it all worth while.

Drew is doing great since waking up. He's slightly warm (99-100) but NOTHING like last night and is in a great mood. Still hasn't pooped though - maybe a Poop-Fil-A run is in order LOL! :)

Well, that was traumatic

I ended up having to take Drew to the ER last night about 9 pm. He was fine all day long, you wouldn't have even known he had been up all night puking by the way he was acting. About 5 pm he started to run a temp again. I gave him some tylenol about 6 pm and it didn't help. His temp just kept going up and then he started complaining that his right side hurt. I had visions of appedicitis running through my head so it was off to the ER we went. Thankfully my mom was still here so she was able to stay home with the other two kids as Eric was still out-of-town (flying back in late last night).

We got to the ER and Drew's temp was 104.2!!!!!! They gave him some Motrin and then later some tylenol to help bring it down. Took a long while but it did start coming down. The dr. told me that he wanted to do some blood work and get a catscan done to rule out the appendix. Ughhh... I understand that it was better to test him and make sure but I was't too thrilled with the idea of an IV - with good reason too.

The nurses came in to do the IV and by that time Drew was asking to go home as he felt better. This was about 11 pm. Eric wasn't there yet but on his way. OH MY GOSH. I about knocked those nurses out. Seriously. It took 3 tries in 3 locations to get that darn thing in!!! The first time was in him right arm. The poor kid, I was holding him as were 2 nurses and he was screaming, saying it hurt and begging them to take it out. The nurse sat there and DUG around in his arm for what seemed like forever before blowing that vein. Another nurse came in and they tried his right hand. Ughh. By this time I was in tears for Drew. It sucked seeing my child in pain like that!!!! Thankfully Eric came in about the time they were going to start try 3 in his left arm. I had to leave and they FINALLY got the IV in this arm!!!

Then they brought in this huge glass of "lemonade" drink that he needed to drink BEFORE the 2 hour wait to get the CT scan started. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It was about 11:30 and he was already EXHAUSTED from everything else this evening. We got about 1/2 down him before he puked it all up. Got a little more down him & he puked that up to. Thankfully the radiology tech decided to go ahead and do the scan and counted 2 hours from the time we started getting him to drink this junk.

Took him back to the scan about 1 am. Another trauma! Holding that kid still on his back was a challenge. Eric help his hands and I held his feet. Got that done and went back to the room to wait. Drew fell back asleep and all was good.

Dr. came in about 2:30 and told us that Drew was really "backed up" (stool wise) and then asked us if he'd been coughing a lot. He has been coughing but I would not have termed it as a lot. Turns out the kid has pnemonia in his left lung! They tried to give him a dose of antibiotics but the combination of the drink & the contrast they put in the IV caused him to puke it up. So, a prescription for antibiotics later and a suggestion for suppositories and we were home. I am relieved that it wasn't anything more - my mind tends to go to all the worst case scenarios.

Poor Eric though - we got home about 3 am and he had to leave to take my mom to the airport and go to work at 6:30 am. I'm tired but I can kick it around the house, minus the prescription run, so it's not that bad. I hope that Owen & Morgan take it easy on me though - I am BEAT!

So, that's our story!

Ughh - Stomach Bug

I know, it's 2:45 am and I am posting. Drew came into my room a short while ago with an upset stomach. He has thrown up a little once and is now laying in my bed watching Diego a la Comcast On Demand. Poor kid - has a temp of 101, an upset stomach and is STILL singing with Diego.

Please pray that no one else in the family gets sick!!! I hate the stomach bug!!!!!!!!

Our Mom-Mom rocks!

Okay, so I have to brag - Morgan, Drew & Owen have another Grandma, we call her Mom-Mom, that rocks! Aren't they lucky kids?

My mom is in town for a long weekend and we are having such a good time. Yesterday we just hung out at home as my mom was really tired (she got up at 3 am to get to the airport) and it was raining. We had a blast though and played games and just had fun together.

Today was really fun as well. We took the kids to the free playarea at Christ Church in Nashville along with Becca & Suzanne. It was a BLAST! If you have kids and haven't tried out this place, you NEED to go. I have several pics to share but it will have to wait until I have more time to edit them. After Christ Church we went to McD's and then we came home. Mom-Mom played games with the kids and then took them out to blow bubbles. They just had so much fun. I love it!

Thank you Lord for a wonderful mom and fantastic Mom-Mom for my kids!

It's raining, It's pouring

And, I wish I was snoring! It's the kind of day where you just want to stay under the covers and sleep. Oh well.

Mom-Mom comes today!!! That's my mom, she didn't want to be called Grandma so Mom-Mom it is. I am excited and the kids are beyond excited. I think Morgan has planned several things for them to do already. I have to say that one of the biggest perks about living in the Nashville area is that it is SO much cheaper to fly to see my family and vice versa! It was super expensive living in the Tulsa area so the visits weren't as frequent. She is here thru Monday morning so those in Sunday School will get to meet her.

Other than that, I have a cool update to share. Remember my post about the neighborhood stuff (click here)? Well, I have really tried this past week to pray for my next door neighbors every single time I started thinking negatively about them (they got LOTS of prayers this week) and it is funny how God works things. There were two things that were making me a bit irritated - the trash just thrown in the back yard for all to see as they drove past and the junk car parked on the side of their house. Well, this week they have finally gotten actual trash service that included nice, new trash cans so that's what they have out back (still against neighborhood policy but a heck of a lot better than a pile of bags) AND the junk car is GONE! WOOHOO!!!!

In addition, I just heard about a small group that is being started in our neighborhood as an opportunity to outreach to those around us. I thought that was cool and plan on introducing myself to the couple doing it soon.

Well, the bad weather is starting to pick up again and I need to go check the status of my mom's flight. If you read this before 9:40 am, please say a prayer for me as I travel to the airport in yuck weather and for my mom as she gets sick really easily on planes and I can't imagine flying in this would be fun.

Thanks!

WOOHOO - Southwest Ding Fare!

I just have to say that I am SO excited! Eric called today to tell me that Southwest was celebrating 2 years of Ding Fares by having great deals. I just book us tickets to see my family in PA for $29 each way!!!!!! YES, you read that right - $29 each way!!!!!!!!! With our companion pass & a child under 2 we only needed to buy 3 tickets!!!!

As Drew would say - "That is amazing!"

If you don't know what Southwest Ding Fares are, you need to check them out. They will "ding" your computer in the morning and afternoon with special offers. You select which airports you're interested in seeing in advance and they will tell you the offers as they come up. It's great!

Playing around with blogger

Not crazy about the brown. Anyone know how you can customize the background colors? I found how you can change the text colors but that's about it.

Randomness

Just some things I keep meaning to post yet never seem to do.

1. THE GUARDIAN - This is a great movie and I highly recommend it. Yes, there have been movies similar in ideas (Top Gun, An Officer & A Gentlemen, Men of Honor) but it doesn't make it any less good. Definitely recommend it.

2. Saw this today and thought it looked cool. Even though my youngest is only 16-months old, I still found myself thinking, "Why didn't they have that when I was having kids" even though they probably did and I just didn't know about it. For those with a baby that fits in a car seat carrier or one on the way, check it out and then go shop on ebay as it's probably cheaper there. LOL

Well, I had other random thoughts earlier but they were so random that I no longer remember them and now I need to go get my kids dinner before taking them over to Chloe's house (THANK YOU DAWN FOR WATCHING THEM TONIGHT!)

The next American Idol: CAROLYN MUELLER

Okay, Carolyn, don't kill me for sharing this here. It was just too funny and sweet to not share.

Background: Eric was making cookies with Morgan & Drew and Grandma decided to sing to them. Excuse the shakey camera, I think i was carrying Owen at the same time. Clip is a little less than 1 minute long.

Okay - Okay, I'm starting to get it.

I was kicking around the internet before going downstairs to watch a movie with Eric and I stopped at our pastor at First Baptist Church's blog (yes, for those not from this area blogging is a "thing" here LOL). Anyway, I was really convicted by it (Click here for Pat Hood's blog - look for Feb. 24, 2007 - They Get It")

He was talking about a couple that were looking for a new house and what they wanted in it. They weren't looking for the things that we typically look for (size, storage, etc) but instead were looking for a place that they could hold a small group in.

"Their number one requirement for their new home is that it be a good Small Group home. It has to be designed so that 8-12 adults and their kids can hang out and do Bible study and life together. It has to be in a neighborhood ripe for REAL community so they can invest in and influence their neighbors for the Kingdom. THEY GET IT! "

He went on to say the following:

"When God chose them to be His children, He chose them to be His missionaries. He didn't call them to just follow Him on Sunday; He called them to follow Him everyday. Christianity isn't a part of their lives; it IS their life. They don't get up on Monday and just go to a job; they get up and go to a mission. Their neighborhood isn't just a place they've chosen to live; it's the place God ordained for them to represent Him. Their stuff isn't just their stuff to be used for their happiness and enjoyment; it's God's stuff entrusted to them to be used for His glory and to expand His kingdom. They've realized that when God chose them to be His children, He chose them to be His missionaries on the job where they work, the neighborhood where the live, the fields where their kids pay ball, etc. THEY GET IT!!! Do you? "

I've been brewing about the neighbors that live next to us for a while. I've called the homeowner's association on them SO many times - it's like living next to a frat house. They have a TON of people that either live there or just stay there. They park crazy, they throw their trash in their unfenced back yard and it blows all over the place (usually in MY yard), they have two trash cars parked next to their house - all against homeowner's association policy. It bugs me because I didn't pay all this money to live next to a trashy house.

That said, we've talked to them a couple of times - okay - my dad talked to them when he came and visited and found out some about them. Their dad died and left them some money so they bought a house to all live together. Many there are trying to turn their lives around and want better things for themselves, despite the evidence often time to the contrary (drinking, smoking pot, parties, etc.). At any rate, they are nice people. They say they are buddhist but I don't believe they are practicing, rather it's cultural (they are Laotian).

I don't view them as my mission field, I view them as the thorn in my side and that is SO wrong. I KNOW that this house and this neighborhood was what God had for us - He made it so completely clear. It's how we found our new church home and ended up making some of the friends we currently have. Perhaps it's our home for more than just that. As Pat said our neighborhood isn't just a place we've chosen to live; it's the place God ordained for us to represent Him.

I think I need to pray that God shows me how to best represent Him and that He helps me see them through His eyes.

Thank you Lord for the correction I obviously needed. Help me to have a great attitude about this neighborhood and give me opportunities to share your love with my neighbors.

Where did I get all this stuff?

We just moved to TN 5 months ago and prior to that I put a ton of kids stuff in a consigment sale (Just Between Friends in Tulsa,OK) AND had a HUGE garage sale and yet, here I am again getting more stuff ready for a consignment sale here in TN. Seriously - how does one family accumulate so much stuff in such a short period of time?

So - I'm off to clean my pit, formerly known as my house, and then work on ironing and tagging more clothes, toys, and misc. other kid crap. Sounds like fun - huh?

Oh & for your American Idol fans - were you suprised at who got voted off last night? I seriously thought that Antonella Barba and Sanjaya Malakar. would be going home.

Portrait Innovations

I went to Portrait Innovations today with Suzanne in an attempt to get individual pictures of my two sons done. I had heard some stuff about it but hadn't tried the place.

I must give it mixed reviews. I may go back but I'm not sure.

Here are the pros & cons.

PRO's

1. QUICK APPT. We got there about 9:30 am and we were walking out, pictures in hand by 10:40 am.

2. EASY VIEWING OF PHOTOS. Immediately following the photo shoot you go over to a very large wide-screen (at least 30") and view your pictures as they are taken with a digital camera.

3. INEXPENSIVE PORTRAIT PACKAGE. They have a deal where you get 1- 10x 13, 2- 8"x 10", 4- 5" x 7", 4- 3" x 5", 32 wallet and 6 picture cards to mail for $9.95! You get to pick your pose. The sheets after that are really quite reasonable.

CON's

1. LACK OF PROPS. I was not impressed with their prop selection. Mostly what they had was floral stuff and well, I was there with 2 boys so that didn't work

2. LACK OF CREATIVITY IN POSES. This could have just been my photographer but I felt like I had to pose the kids. Why should I pay them for that.

3. POOR INTERACTION WITH CHILDREN. Again, this could have been specific to my photographer. She just did not engage the kids at all and there fore they didn't want to respond much. Thankfully Drew was feeling like hamming it up or we'd have walked away empty handed as Owen cared nothing for the photo session.

4. PHOTOGRAPHER WITH POOR PEOPLE SKILLS. Third time is a charm - this could be photographer specific.

I wish this place could have Picture People's props and sometimes great photographers with all the pros listed above.

I'll try to scan and post the pics of Drew that got taken.

Ahhh - Pajama Day!

Morgan has Pajama day at school today! If only every day could be pajama day it would save me a lot of time on ironing! :)

Headed to Portrait Innovations today with the boys. Hope it goes well.

The Unreasonableness of God

Okay, I hope I don't get in trouble for posting this with my friends at VOM. I've been reminded of this several times in the past couple of days so I thought I'd go ahead and share it. This is an excerpt from the book The Oracles of God by Richard Wurmbrand, founder of The Voice of the Martyrs. It was printed in the November 2006 Newsletter.

"I shared and viewed the sufferings of many fellow prisoners in an underground Communist prison. What intrigued us the most was that we did not obtain from heaven what it was obviously reasonable to expect: a slight improvement in our situation, food to quiet our hunger, and abatement of our cruel torture. We did not get what we expected because heaven is not - humanly speaking - reasonable.

Jesus said, "There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance" (Luke 15:7). This is surely not reasonable.

Nowhere does the Bible speak about the "reasonableness" of God, according to man's reasoning, but rather about His foolishness (1 Corinthians 1:25). He is unreasonable as are the thoughts of little children. Christ became a child and recommended that we become as children too.

Was it reasonable to sacrifice the unique Son of God for witless, dirty, dumb sheep? I have asked many shepherds what they would do if they saw a wolf. They all replied, 'We would run for our live.' No man dies for sheep. Yet Jesus did. he died for being worse than sheep - for those who denied and betrayed Him, for those who demanded His crucifixion. he died for His killers, for all who blaspheme and hate God.

Do not be surprised if you fail to get from God what you might reasonably expect. If He were truly reasonable, He would never listen to the prayers of people like us, nor would we have salvation.

Rather, God loves to the point of folly.

If you are in the sad situation of experiencing neither His reason, nor His mad love, you might consider the fact that in the parable of the ninety and nine, only the lost sheep had sure proof of His love and concern. The others could reasonably say they were neglected and abandoned. Those who are faithful should simply be glad that others experience His love to folly.

While in solitary confinement, I waited for years for God to come to my aid. In solitary we were happy about His mad love even in moments we were not its recipients.

Do not count on reasonableness in heaven and you will never be disappointed. Count on the fact that there is One who loves you to such folly that He died for you. In response, forget about sweet reason and let yourself fall madly in love with Him."

God always knows what we need.

I almost deleted the post from last night several times but didn't when it was obvious that it was already read. I am not normally a down and depressed person and I feel like all I've done for the last couple of weeks is complain. Not good.

At any rate, the reason for this post.

We just sat down to the breakfast table and I grabbed my Mom's Devotional Bible to read a short devotion to start my day. God really encouraged me through it so I thought I would share it here.

Whose Child Is This? (p. 267)

Passage: 1 Samuel 1:21-28

Have you ever prayed Hannah's words as your own?

I have. Several times I've asked for God to take charge of my children. Out of fear that I might "ruin" them, I hand them over to him.

But as I give my children to God, I often hear him ask, "Do you really trust me with your children?" Do you trust me to get them to school safely?"

"Yes!" I respond.

"Do you believe that I can guide them through an illness?"

"Of course!"

"How about deciding if they will marry - and who?"

"Better you than I!" I say.

"Then do you trust me to select the very best mother for your children and for who I want them to become?"

We can be the mothers our children need because God divinely chose us for the job. Don't doubt it. He knows what He is doing. And aren't we glad!


Thank you Jesus for the encouragement I really needed today.

...

There are several things I'd like to post about that have been running through my mind but I'm just stuck on one at the moment. I hesitate to even bother posting because quite frankly I am in one heck of a foul mood and frustrated beyond belief. Maybe someone out there in cyberspace has some helpful advice for me, I don't know.

Truthfully, I have been in a bit of a funk lately when it comes to my second child and first boy, Drew. He's my "spirited" child and can be a real handful. He's also very sweet and tender-hearted. I don't know what has happened but in the past week or so he's gotten 10 times worse. The kid is seriously driving me nuts and I find myself struggling to even be nice to him. What kind of mom am I to even say that?

I struggle because he needs a lot of attention. I wish he was old enough for organized sports because the kid seriously needs a big physical outlet for all his energy. There is only so much we can get out around the house and only so much I can go do with a 1 year old in tow as well.

This morning after we got back from the Y was great. Owen went down for a nap and Drew & I did nothing but play. He was very well behaved and we had a GREAT time. I go pick Morgan up and we come home and all hell breaks loose.

I wanted just a few minutes to sit and relax and I just wanted the kids to play on their own (with each other or by themselves) for about 30-40 minutes. Not possible with Drew. He is unable to play by himself or even with others in an unstructured way without getting into trouble. He is mean to Morgan & Owen, usually physically, and seems to actively look for ways to irritate me. He seriously does stuff that he knows is wrong on purpose. I get that "smile" - you kniow the one, the "I-am-going-to-do-something-to-make-you-upset-and-I-love-it" smile - the devilish grin. WHY? WHY? WHY?

I can't entertain this kid all day long. He needs to be able to play by himself or with his siblings without getting into trouble. How can I teach him that and not go stark raving mad?

I have THREE kids to balance, I can't give all my undivided attention to Drew all the time, it's not healthy for the other kids who also need my attention. I also have a house to maintain and I am finding that near impossible. I try to clean up the kitchen and Drew is terrorizing one of his siblings or tearing up something and I won't even go into Owen, that's a whole nother post. It infuriates me. I could seriously give this kid spankings all day long and he'd deserve every one of them.

While I am a mom, I am also a wife and to be honest, by the time Eric comes home I have no energy left to spend time with him. I am physically and emotionally spent and just worn out.

I feel like crap as a mom right now. I truly do. I get so angry with Drew and it overflows to the other children. I think I just sat down and started crying on them twice today out of anger and frustration - I'm crying right now just thinking about it.

I need to go back and reread some of the parenting book we went through. Honestly, I'd give anything to be able to be back in that class with the Shigley's right now. I miss it as going each week and hearing them talk about how the stuff has applied to their life with 7 kids really encouraged me in my parenting. The class really helped me focus and helped Eric & I stay on the same page in regards to how to parent our children. It was also nice to talk about things with others who were trying to apply the same principles in their home.

In the midst of it all today God did give me one thought though. He's my Father and I am His child and He is trying to teach me things all the time and I screw up, I don't get it or I am willfully disobedient. Does He respond to me the way I often respond to Drew? Absolutely not. What kind of picture of Christ am I teaching my son? It's encouraging and it's depressing all at the same time.

Fun and GAMES

My son Drew just LOVES to play games. We just spent 1.5 hours doing nothing but playing games. We started with Dora Memory then moved on to Candyland, Duck Duck Goose, Bumparena, and then Hi Ho Cherry-O. Lots of fun.

Despite all our struggles with obedience issues and that kid lately, he is such a sweetheart and is a lot of fun.

Oh & if you know of any good games for young kids (ages 3-5), let me know. Morgan loves games too so we're always on the look-out.

Red Robin Rant

I took Carolyn to the airport this evening and decided to run out to Mt. Juliet to go to Joann's afterwards. It was around dinner time to so told Morgan we could go to Chick-Fil-A or Red Robin. Now, why I did that I have no idea - Morgan HATES Chick-Fil-A (much to my dismay - it's my favorite). So - you know which place she chose.

Okay, so it's me and three kids ages 5,3 & 1 at Red Robin BY MYSELF. Smart - I know. Red Robin used to be one of my favorite places. After I became a Christian and started going to church I went to Red Robin at least once a week with members of my youth group. It was always great - good food, good service, good friends.

Well, I've been to the Red Robin in Mt. Juliet twice, the first time with some ladies that I recommended the place to, and BOTH times the service has stunk and the food has been mediocure. Tonight we sat down (to many stares from people who I know were thinking I had lost my mind to come in with 3 kids by myself) and waited 10 minutes and NO ONE came to help us. I finally motioned a manager over and he apologized and took our orders.

Wouldn't you know it, right after that Drew started dancing around needing to go potty! UGHHHH. So, the manager was passing by at that time and I told him I wasn't leaving the restaurant and took ALL THREE KIDS to the bathroom. Sometimes potty training is so stinkin' inconvenient. As I was walking back there some lady remarked to her husband that I had a lot of kids. Thanks for being so observant.

Despite the bad food & bad service the kiddos were relatively well behaved which is a change for Drew as of late.

Can't say I'll be in a hurry to go back to Red Robin though. Bummer.

Video Help Needed

Okay, so I'm pretty proficient with a camera, not a professional by any means, but I can take a pic, edit it and post it online with ease. I wish I could say the same for video. I have a digital video camera, mini dv, and I have to be honest, I don't use it much because I don't really know how to get the pics on my computer (Okay, I can figure that part out) and I don't know how to edit them after they are on my computer. Does anyone have any helpful advise? Computer editing programs? Etc. Also, I don't want to bog down my computer with large files so I'm sure I have to edit & remove quickly - right?

So - all you video people (and you know who you are) HELP!

Grandma comes tonight!

The kids are SO excited because Carolyn will be here tonight. It's been since October since we've seen her so this is GREAT!

I *should* be running my tail around this house getting it cleaned up, groceries put away, and car cleaned out but I needed breather. I got adventurous and took the kids to Publix right around lunch time to do a big shop - all I have to say is YIKES. I've lost my mind - let me know if you find it :)

I'm a screw up

I don't know what it is about me thinking I have to be transparent on this blog. I think part of my reasoning is because so often people don't talk about things that they should, especially in the church and among Christians. So, this is another post that I question before posting but it's on my mind and my heart so here it is.

I had two other posts today that I decided I should just delete as I was complaining about my day that just seemed so terrible. I'd like to say that it had nothing to do with my attitude and everything to be with my childrens' behavior but that wouldn't be the case. Yes, my children (one in particular - can you guess who?) had some obedience issues but I think things were probably escalated by my crappy attitude and quick temper. By the end of the day I felt like the world's worst mother. I had said some things I regretted and acted like I wish I hadn't. Not very mother-like. It sucked.

I'm sure everyone struggles with anger issues at times but I hate that I struggle like that with my kids. Morgan is old enough that I am seeing some of my previous actions come back at me and I feel bad. I am the adult here and I need to be able to control my actions & words long enough to not scar my kids because I have issues. I need to be teaching them the appropriate way to respond to things when we are upset and angry. I need to be teaching them godly values and I fail so very often. I often wonder if I am going to screw my kids up permanently.

Can I stop here to make something very clear (just in case you are wondering): NO, I am not abusive with my kids. While I do get upset and angry, I am adult enough to control myself in that way. Today there were two times when Drew deserved a spanking and yet I did not give him one because I would be spanking him while I was angry and that is NOT EVER acceptable. He was placed in his room and I went an cooled off before talking to him.

I wasn't raised in a Christian home, I don't have a good idea of what it is supposed to look like. I desperately want my children to learn about Jesus, invite him into their hearts and follow after Him with zeal and passion. As a parent I am charged with teaching my child right from wrong and most importantly, I am charged with teaching my children about the Lord. So hard to do when I am such a screw up myself.

That said, I know that we serve a God that can move mountains, raise the dead, part the seas and save my soul from it's rightful place in hell, surely He can redeem the times that I have screwed up with my children and help me in this adventure called parenting.

Lord, please help me to be a mom who is loving and uses self-control with her children. Help me to show them how much you love them and long to know them. Please redeem the time that I 've screwed up and protect their tender hearts.

Happy HEART Day!

Praise God When I Have Anxiety, Fear & Discouragement

I'm sitting here reading for my mom's study tomorrow and once again I am struck by one of the chapters. The second half of the book addresses 15 times when it is crucial to praise God. The first one is "When I Am Troubled by Negative Thoughts & Emotions." I could go into that one but the chapter that really hits home with me is the next one, "When I have anxiety, fear, and discouragement."

I have a few reservations about sharing this on a public blog as it's personal and it deals with the area that I struggle with more than any other area.

"Anxiety comes from fear. All of our worry, uncertainty, distress, dread, and panic comes from fear. Fear can come on us with heart-stopping suddenness. It can distort our thinking. It can control our lives. It can paralyze us" (p.185).

I know that kind of anxiety - the kind that comes on suddenly and paralyzes me with fear. I don't even want to type it out because, frankly, I don't like seeing it in writing, it makes it too real.

What am I anxious about? Death, dying, cancer - for me, my kids, my husband, my family. It has been an over-whelming fear that has brought on anxiety attacks and rendered me unable to function at times. It has been that bad. I hear stories about cancer and I sit there thinking about all the things physically wrong with me, which, of course, are all cancer. I over-analyze things with my kids and constantly worry about them getting sick and dying. It's morbid, I know and it's totally a tool of the devil to keep me from experiencing the fullness of life that Christ offers me.

For years this fear has kept me from even seeking God completely. Oh I was a Christian and I had no doubt of where I would be going when I died, I was just afraid of how I'd get there & how my family would get there. I would see people that were totally committed to Christ and they would have bad things happening in their lives. I think I had this fear that if I let go of my anxiety and fear and sought after God with everything I had that the bad things that I feared would happen to me, as some sort of test to see if my faith could really stand up under the test. Backwards, I know.

Several years ago I read a verse in Philippians that I repeat to myself over & over again when I am faced with this struggle.

Philippians 4:6 says:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

"Praising God is the way to combat all anxiety, and it's best to do it in the moment you sense anxiety over anything. And then continue to praise God until all anxiety leaves.

You need to have total peace about who you are, what you are doing, and where you are going in your life. You need peace about your past, present, and future. You need to have peace about the circumstances you're in, no matter what they are. The lack of such peace in your heart and mind can make you miserable. The strife, torment, anxiety, and stress can make you sick.

When we are fearful, apprehensive, worried, alarmed, or terrified, only the peace of God can restore us to a calm, assured confidence. Even though life is unpredictable and sometimes full of fearful things, God says we don't have to live in fear.

At the first sign of anxiety, seek the peace of God. In His Word. In prayer. And in praise and worship" (p. 187, The Prayer That Changes Everything, Stormie Omartian).

So, there you have it - more about me than you probably want to know and probably more than I should have shared.

Lord, please continue to give me the peace that transcends all understanding. Guard my heart.

Little Cookie Chefs...

For a look at the fun that we had with Nathan & Suzanne today go to her blog at
SUZANNE's BLOG

We had a GREAT time and the cookies were YUMMY! Thanks Suzanne!

Monday Monday (A day late)

So I am a day late in posting this but hey, I as up until 12:30 am working on my tax stuff from when I had a home daycare so I just didn't feel like doing it last night.

Yesterday I went with the kiddos to the Discovery Center. We met Becca & her crew and Tammy & Braden there. Tammy WAS pregnant yesterday (due in 2 weeks) and was having contractions but she still went out with us - good thing too as she won't havce the chance to go for a while now.

Owen LOVES the water table and Morgan loves the craft area and Drew, well, he just likes to do it all. They also had an airplane that they could ride. Drew is riding with Braden and was scared once the stairs pulled back. Below are some pics.

Update on Tammy - her contractions got much closer together by the end of the afternoon and she went to the hospital around 7:30 pm. Baby Aubrey was born (successful VBAC) around 1:30 am I think. CONGRATULATIONS to the Bright family on their new addition!









Eli & Jonah (Becca's boys) enjoying the water table and Eli in the airplane (I'll email you the pics later Becca):

So SLOW in the morning.

I should be getting my kiddos dressed and ready for the day but we're sitting here eating breakfast while Handy Manny is on in the other room. I'm planning on taking them to the Discovery Center today but I'm just sitting here. Why? BECAUSE I AM SO STINKIN' SLOW IN THE MORNING! Wish I was more motivated to get dressed and ready quicker in the AM and maybe I'd get places on time.

Such a sad way to be remembered.

I was at Wal-Mart tonight picking up some pictures (another post entirely - Grrrr!) and there were two young women there getting a picture printed. They came up beside me and asked the clerk at the photo counter how long it would take to get the picture put onto a t-shirt. Apparently this girl's sister was just murdered in Smyrna (story here) and they wanted the shirts to wear at the memorial service. It was sad that this girl was murdered and what I found even sadder was the picture that her sister chose to put on the shirts for her memorial service. In the picture the girl was sitting back on a bed (I think) with a beer in her hand while she flipped off the camera with the other hand. Nice image for a shirt at a memorial service don't you think?

Today at lunch I heard an awesome story about how a lady that I had met at a library story hour and then met again at church on a Wednesday night asked Jesus into her heart while at the YMCA. WOW. Praise God!

There are those that we see that it's obvious that they need to hear about Jesus, like the young ladies I saw today at Wal-Mart. For those of us that go to church, how many people are standing right next to us, worshipping with us in church, that don't know Jesus as their personal Savior? I have to tell you, I had assumed that the lady, mentioned above, was a Christian. She was, after all, at church. Isn't everyone there a Christian?

I know that I need to be more mindful of sharing Jesus with those that I meet, at church and outside of church.

Flowers

Eric really suprised me tonight by coming home with a bouquet of flowers!!!! It's been a while since I've gotten flowers for something other than a "flower occassion" so it was wonderful. Don't get me wrong, Eric is a very thoughtful person and is always doing things to let me know just how much he loves me but this was extra special to me today.

Thank you honey!!! I LOVE YOU (and I'm sure you're reading this thinking that I should delete it because I'm embarassing you).

Bounce Bounce

Yesterday I went with my friends Tammy & Suzanne to Steve's Fantastic Fun Zone - it's a place with a bunch of inflatables that kids can play on. Here are some pics from our time.

Here is Drew, Nathan & Braden coming down one of the slides. I just LOVE the look of pure joy that you get on the faces of kids this age. It's so sweet.



I post these pics because my son, Owen, seems to be content to sit with everyone else BUT ME when we are around others. If he keeps it up he's going to start giving me a complex. First pic is Owen & Suzanne, second it Owen & Tammy.




Owen "jumping". He doesn't actually get his feet off the ground yet, but he had fun. Need to lose that binkie though!

And, I couldn't help but post these two pics of Tammy & her son Braden. What you can't quite tell in these pics is that Tammy is 9 months pregnant!!!! She was still playing with Braden on all this stuff even with her 9-month baby bump. GO TAMMY!

Can I just complain for a minute?

I just have to gripe for a minute, get it out of my system and move on.

FIRST: Owen has woke up to really goopy eyes this morning so I was a little worried about pink eye or a sinus infection. Call up the dr. and get in this morning and find out that it is a sinus infection AND AN EAR INFECTION. He had tubes in about 14 months ago (when he was 2 months old) and apparently one either isn't working or isn't in anymore, dr couldn't tell. I know, it's only one ear infection but after the history that our family has with ear problems I am just afraid we're going down that road again. Morgan had tubes TWICE, Drew once and Owen once (so far) - our family is well versed in ear trouble. I am hoping that this is a one time thing and that he's grown out of the ear probs.

SECOND: I miss Dr. Paul. Don't get me wrong, I really like Dr. Eastham and overall I am pleased with his care of my kids but there is something to be said about a Dr. that understands, from first-hand experience, the medical history of your children. Dr. Paul has known each of my kids since they were born. He is well aware of our ear trouble and ALWAYS scheduled a follow-up appt. after the antibiotics has had a chance to work. Dr. Eastham doesn't think we need one unless Owen doesn't seem better. Maybe I'm just an overly anxious momma but I would feel better having him checked out again. I may just schedule an appt. for 2 weeks for now and take him anyways. I don't know.

THIRD: I love my son, Drew, but the kid can sure push my buttons. It drives me crazy when he willfully disobeys me - with a smile of course. This morning he took it one step further by not disobeying himself but getting his brother, who doesn't know better on some things, to do it instead. Ughhh - infuriating. We are definitely really working on Drew's obedience issues. I know part of it is the age but that doesn't excuse bad behaviour.

FOURTH: My house is a PIT and I can't seem to get it clean. I guess I should be working on cleaning it and putting away the mounds of laundry that I have instead of typing here but... I don't know how some people do it - how do they keep a clean, picked up house AND have kids around? Seriously. I get one area clean while they are destroying another area. I try to do laundry and have a one year old that likes to stand there and scream at me because I'm not holding him or playing with him, etc. I know SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) doesn't necessarily mean stay-at-home-MAID but come-on, I need to be able to get something done some time!

Okay, so that's my rant for the day. Think I need to adjust my attitude a little bit?

Praise God because He has a purpose for my life

So many thoughts going through my head tonight but I think I'm going to focus on one particular area. As I've mentioned before, I am doing a study with a Mom's group at World Outreach Center with the book "The Prayer That Changes Everything" by Stormie Omartian. If you haven't gotten this book, it's WONDERFUL and worth a read.

Today I read chapter 12: Because He Has a Purpose for My Life. I think this one stuck out to me because I'm always struggling with what my purpose is. I know that my ultimate purpose is to glorify God but I also know that God has work for me to do in addition to that while I'm here. Nothing is worse than feeling like you don't have a purpose in life - makes you feel like there is no point in anything at times.

Some things that stuck out to me in the book:

(p. 131) "Now I know that being a believer doesn't mean life is suddenly easy or simple, but it is made a lot easier and simpler because of the presence of the Lord. That's because no matter what you go through, you don't ever have to go through it alone. You always walk with Him and He carries the burden. The issues aren't confusing because He brings clarity. You don't have to wonder what's right and good because He reveals them to you. Your life has purpose and value simply because you are His." (emphasis mine)

My life has purpose because I am His child - it's that simple. What we do or are dong does not define what our purpose is, it's all about WHO you belong to. Our main purpose here on earth is to glorify and love the Lord.

"Another one of our main purposes is to extend the life of the Lord to others in a way that draws people to Him" (p. 132).

"Don't worry if you have doubts about whether you can accomplish what God has called you to do. I would be worried if you didn't. God always calls us to something greater than ourselves - something bigger than we can accomplish on our own. If you think you can handle all God has for you to do on your own, then you are thinking too small. Everytime you feel you are unable to do what God has called you to do, when you feel as though you don't have what it takes to move into the life God has for you, worship is the way to respond. You don't have to make your life happen; you just have to worship God and let Him make it happen" (p. 134). (emphasis mine)

I can't expand much on that as Stormie says it so eloquently. I think I am often guilty of thinking too small, afraid of failing or I feel too tired to think big as it might require more of me than I think I can give. Isn't that right where I need to be? In my weakness HE wants to be my strength.

"Every time you are weary of the race, stop where you are and worship God. Get your mind off of yourself and onto Him. Don't try to be good; turn to Him who is good. Don't try to be perfect, turn to Him who is perfect. And because He loves you, He will lead you into the purpose for which you were born. Satan will always try to stop the purpose of God from being realized in your life. When that happens, draw even closer to God. He will instruct your heart and strengthen you as you grow closer and closer to Him in worship" (pp. 136-137).

Lord, thank you that you have a purpose for my life and that you are more than capable of helping me accomplish it.

The ice cream man - why?

Just sitting here and I hear music coming from outside. I look out and what do I see - the ICE CREAM MAN. Someone explain to me why the ice cream man thinks it's a wise business decision to drive an ice cream truck around neighborhoods when it's 50 degrees outside and the kids aren't home from school yet?

Go Colts!

I'm not a huge football fan but we were rooting for the Colts in this Super Bowl. So glad that they won! RYAN - I bet you are beside yourself!

Our small group had a Super Bowl party tonight at Tammy & Benjamin's house. WOW - there was a lot of people there. I didn't count but I know Tammy had said she thought there would be 9 couples and 16 kids. It was a lot.

Here are some pictures (notice the upstairs play room in complete chaos and the calm of the tv room downstairs!)







And, one of Owen's favorite people to sit with, Ashley!

Back in the saddle again.

The scrapbooking saddle that is!!! After putting off straightening out my craft room, I finally got it done this past week and started putting it to use last night. Might not sound like a big deal to some but one of the ways that I recharge is doing something creative, mainly scrapbooking & stamping. I do other things like tatting, quilting, knitting, crocheting, etc but the thing I love to do the most is scrapbooking. I don't think I've sat and scrapped at home in a LONG time. While in OK I used to get together with friends occassionally to scrap and had a blast but it was always a challenge to get all my stuff together and take to someone's house. It is SO nice to have everything in a place and be able to pull them out as I need to.

Here is my scrapbook room & the closet.






Here are some of the pages that I did tonight. A little explanation - For each kid I am doing a BIRTHDAY BOOK. I put pics from each birthday in their own special book. I have such a hard time keeping up with my albums that I figured that it would be nice to have one album that I could keep up with. NOTE: The first 3 pages were already done but I figured I'd include them so you could see what the book looks like - easy since I am only now working on his 2nd birthday (he's 3).

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Snow day!

Well, we have snow here in Smyrna, TN! There was actually a dusting of snow yesterday morning, hardly enough to cover the cars, and it melted off pretty quickly. The crazy thing was that all the schools were out. I remember my first winter storm when we moved to Colorado Springs from Houston - it snowed several feet overnight and we STILL had school the next day. We were NOT loving the new superintendent from Alaska that morning. So - cancelling school for a trace of snow made me laugh.

At any rate, we got up this morning to more snow - about 1 -1.5 inches - not alot but enough to play in.

I got the kids all bundled up and took them outside. They had a blast. Here are some pics.









After we got done outside we came inside and made SNOW ICE CREAM. Morgan really wanted it to be pink but had I been thinking, I would have colored it YELLOW - lol! It was actually pretty good - never made that before. Here is a pic of the kids mixing the ingredients together and then enjoying their ice cream.

Are you fatiguing your faith muscle?

This week in my Wed. morning book study our leader,Amanda, shared something that I've been thinking a lot about and I thought I'd share it here.

Amanda was talking about how as a personal trainer she was always trying to get her clients to see that it wasn't enough to do the amount of reps & weight that you knew you could do easily but that you had to push yourself. The goal was to use your muscle until it was fatigued so that it could break down and rebuild stronger. I'm not a personal trainer so I'll just take her word for it on that one.

We can think of our faith in Christ as a muscle. If we want to grow in our faith we need to exercise it, not just by doing what we are comfortable but by pushing ourselves, fatiguing our faith, if you will.

What do I mean by that?

One young lady shared that a year ago she would not have thought to attend a small group study like this one and that it was a big, uncomfortable step to start coming. Now it was easy & comfortable to come. She stepped out, fatigued her faith muscle and got stronger. Now she needs to look for new ways to strengthen her faith in Christ.

I am horrible about having a consistent quiet time. I read the Bible, pray & study but it's not consistent. For me, I think I need to exercise my faith muscle by getting up early every morning and spending time with God. I have to admit, I wanted to start this morning and I failed. Two kids in my bed at 4:30 am didn't make me want to get up at 5 am. Still, I know that I need to persevere, to get my tired tail out of bed and be excited about what God will teach me and how He'll use it to strengthen my walk with Him.

What do you need to do to step out of your faith comfort zone?

I need to write a book

And I'm going to title it, "The many poop adventures of Drew." I know, you are probably tired of hearing the stories of all the places that my kid poops but since we are in the middle of potty training, it is what I'm kind of focused on.

Yesterday I was over at Tammy's house and I hear Drew call for me. I go to find that the had gone into Benjamin's study (not supposed to be in there in the first place) AND that he had pooped. He was in underwear, not a pull-up, and I knew he pooped because I looked down and it was ON HIS SOCK!!!!! Tammy has a lot of area with hardwood floors but of course my kid had to poop on top of WHITE CARPET!! Thankfully it wasn' t a lot but still.

How long does it take before they know how to do their business in the potty all the time?