Flaws

Do you ever stop and think about all the areas in your life or character traits that you have that you view as flaws and wish were different? I do from time to time and honestly, just had a few of mine (or rather one big one) in my face today.


My flaw of choice today: I am very unorganized and unstructured to the point that at times I feel like I appear lazy.

Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but it is to me and to those that have to live with me (feel sorry for my kids & husband!).

In an ideal world I would be this super organized wife & mother with a plan in place for my week before it even began. I'd have a list of daily tasks that included what to clean, what to wash, what to eat and what days those things needed to happen. I would remember the budget and not forget what I spent the day before and how it adds up. I would have a plan for what I did with my kids which included a wide array of activities both at home and outside the home and when I went out I'd always have everything I needed, I'd be prepared. Life would be nice, neat & organized.

I know people like this.

I wish I was like this.

I tend to fly by the seat of my pants. When I plan ahead, I rarely prepare ahead. Does that make sense? Here's an example. I knew that I was going to go swimming today with the kids and packing a lunch. The best thing for me to have done was gotten the stuff together the night before - clothes, food, etc. With three kids it would have made more sense to do this ahead of time so I wouldn't have to waste time with it in the morning. Did I????? NOPE. Instead I was rushing around the house, getting frustrated with the kids for things that weren't really their fault and leaving my house a complete & utter disaster. When we got home do you think I used their nap time to clean up said disaster? NOPE again. Perhaps if I had then I would have been able to use the time that they were awake doing something fun & productive with them instead of turning on the TV so I could clean up (which didn't really work anyways).

I frustrate myself.

I want to be more organized & structured but I just can't. I try and I fail - over and over again. I look at my friends who are with envy because I see the value in being that way. It's just not me.

Don't think I go around bashing myself all the time, I don't. I think we all have days where what we see (or choose to see) isn't the most flattering of things.