In my early years as a believer I heard people equate Christians and their walk with the Lord, most importantly their prayer life & time spent in the Word, as the gas that makes them go. When the tank is empty, well, the car stops.
If I were to be honest, my tank has been on empty for quite a while now, stalled out in the biggest, darkest, most frustrating valleys I've ever been in. How'd this all come about? A big, huge part of it is my laziness to contribute anything to my relationship with my Savior. It is, after all, an actual relationship and those don't work when it's one sided. I got so busy doing that I forgot to stop and refill. I got by for a while and then Christmas came and honestly, I just hit the wall. I was done, couldn't do it anymore. Then came the apathy and feeling downright depressed. Shoot, I even went and got put on meds for that. Not sure I actually need them as much as I need to get it right with God.
Tonight, in the midst of my huge frustration I reluctantly picked up a devotional book called "Jesus Calling." and read today's entry. Read along:
I am leading you along the high road, but there are descents as well as ascents. In the distance you see snow-covered peaks glistening in brilliant sunlight. Your longing to reach those peaks is good, but you must not take shortcuts. Your assignment is to follow Me, allowing Me to direct your path. Let the heights beckon you onward, but stay close to me.
Learn to trust Me when things go "wrong." Disruptions to your routine highlihgt your dependence on Me. Trusting acceptance of trials brings blessings that far outweight them ll I have lovingly planned every inch of the way. Trust does not falter when the path becomes rocky and step. breathe deep draughts of My Presence, and hold tightly to My hand. Together we can make it!
That was JUST what I needed to read today, especially the last line.
2 comments:
I started reading Jesus calling last spring. Unfortunately I don't pick it up every day either. We've been reading & talking about it in small group. I love how God says just the right thing at just the right time. Did you read yesterday? The first line said "Approach this day with remembrance of who is boss." Such an appropriate thought on inauguration day I thought.
Even when we get off track, He picks us up right where we left off.
Praying for your spirit friend.
Andie,
Honest. that was the first thing I thought about when I read your post. I think it is hard to be that honest with ourselves and each other.
I bet most people have been or felt exactly where you are at one time or another in their own walks and just have a difficult time being that truthful.
Thanks for your honesty
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